That’s the way the cookie crumbles

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I’ve lifted my head briefly from my world of stories and sniffles. 

We outpaced all viruses all winter and yet I am felled right before my first exam. 

It started with my daughter who brought it home from school. 

She passed it to my son who shared it with me. 

So we all three are sniffling and aching and coughing while I study and study and study. 

And try to rest. 

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Summer didn’t want to wait. From cold damp days to a scorching sun that had us racing for shade this week.

That’s the thing about mountain living on this island. You get colder winters and hotter summers. 

I think I am dreaming of a little seashore cottage. 

Still waiting for spring. 

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We have hummingbirds fly into our house often.

They move so fast in the world, yet are so docile when I go to lift them up and place them back outside. 

I can reach out my hand and simply take one, and it will sit there and just be. 

It’s a bit how I am looking at this sickness right now that has come at the worst time. 

I’ve got my exams, and having to ferry over to another island to take them, and hotels to stay in, and it’s all so much if I let it be. 

Instead I am laying it down, like a hummingbird in a hand, and just resting my wings. 

Instead of struggling and worrying. 

Just letting it all be exactly how it is. 

 

To the Pacific Northwest weather

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Dear Spring,

I am going need to you to try a little harder. It was a very long, dark winter and while I appreciate your tenderness, I need you to assert yourself now, please. 

Okay, yes, I did complain about your early arrival last year with a sun that blazed and scorched a bit too soon, so let me apologize. I am sorry.

I will never complain if you coming rolling in like a jet again, because this snail pace is just really getting me down. Yesterday my fingers lost feeling in the cold and really that’s just unnecessary in April. 

Okay, yes, I did go to the beach and yes, it was probably too cold to put my hands in the water, but did I mention it was April already? 

Are you even there, Spring? Hello?

 

Dear garden seeds,

I sometimes get too eager, like a chihuahua that’s caught in a purse, so I understand why you are trapped in mud with no way up to the surface and I am sorry to have put you in that situation. I suppose the laughter at the nursery when I bought you should have tipped me off that I might have been jumping the gun. 

If any of you can make it up, keep trying or at least hang in there during these floods that just will not end. One day there has to be some sun. Doesn’t there? 

 

Dear wind, 

That’s enough now. 

Spring

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It’s the beginning of spring. 

It’s spring break. 

The rhythm of schooled days have turned into a tossed windstorm of bike rides, beach combing, farm visits, field running, and play dough covered hands. Children who never seem to stop moving, eating, needing, loving. 

All day we play, run, eat, until we collide with our pillows at night. 

Today, I watched them laugh for a solid hour. Laugh so hard their cheeks became flushed, tears running down from the  joy of their secret shared language. 

Siblings. To watch siblings as an only child….

I love these days when time stops, where no one needs to be anywhere. When they find each other and become one in imagination. When play takes center stage and I am the audience and guide.

The kids carry me through the exhaustion of these non-stop beautiful chaotic days. I feel like their joy is the scaffolding keeping me up, keeping me going…to hear that laughter again.

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Our first sprouts have sprung. Green reaching, searching for the still coy sun. We are still swaddled in blankets. 

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A very sweet neighbor of mine walks down the mountain everyday to the village. She buys what she needs, then hikes back up. Sometimes she takes my offered ride. Every single day you can see her skipping down or trudging back up. I like the reliability of her. She’s part of my days without even knowing. 

Winter’s edge

 

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Warm days in full sun trapping us in joy. 

A picnic on a colorful blanket catching shadows from buds just reaching up through the long browned earth.

A stroll through our village watching shops waking from winter and cafés spilling over.

A bald eagle playing chase with a raven outside our window, so close their wings seemed to reach inside to us. 

Fingers pushing into dirt planting seeds that we now stalk for signs of that amazing first green.  

A bumblebee devouring nectar that caught our attention for while, and us sitting so still just enthralled to watch as it danced with a flower. 

How is it that these first moments of spring, these last of winter, both awaken and quiet us? 

Two butterflies seen. 

Growing light, lingering into night. 

These moments when winter starts to intermingle with spring; Cold, weeping days dotted with promises to come. 

Let us lay on this edge…..fall into the space between winter and spring. 

What a lovely few days it has been.